Choosing the Right Secondary School for Your Child

It is that time of year again when those of us with children in Year Six must choose a secondary school for them. For many families, this is an exciting but also daunting experience. There are so many factors to consider: the school’s academic reputation, extracurricular activities, facilities, and, of course, the overall atmosphere. Here in Kent, we also have the added complication of Grammar schools to throw into the mix. These selective schools often provide a different type of education compared to comprehensive schools, which can make the decision even more challenging.

Unfortunately, we do not know the Kent Test results until late October, meaning we need to look at a mix of both Grammar and comprehensive schools. This can lead to a lot of uncertainty, as parents try to make decisions based on incomplete information. The wait can be nerve-wracking, and it often feels like we are forced to make choices without having all the necessary details in front of us. In this context, visiting the schools, meeting staff, and getting a sense of the environment becomes even more important.

Navigating the School Options: Grammar vs. Comprehensive Schools

This is my third time of touring the local schools, and each time I find it a little easier to navigate, but also, a little more complicated. My son had a brilliant time at school and loved every second of it. He stayed on into sixth form, got fantastic results, and went to a good university. It was an experience that reinforced my belief in the importance of a school that matches a child’s needs, both academically and socially. For him, the structure of the school system worked well, and he thrived.

My daughter, however, hated every second of school, and with hindsight, I would not have fought to get her into the bells-and-whistles school, as it was certainly not all bells and whistles for her. She was a different kind of learner, and the school’s environment didn’t suit her personality. She left her school at the earliest opportunity and completed sixth form in a new school. This was hard for her, as there were very few “new” students joining the sixth form, and breaking into established friendship groups was challenging. It was a difficult transition for her emotionally, but in the end, it proved to be a positive move.

Overcoming the Challenges: Helping Your Child Adjust

On a positive note, I think her rocky schooling gave her a good grounding and made her much more mature. The challenges she faced during her school years forced her to develop resilience and adaptability—qualities that have served her well in life. So much so that she spent a year in Australia, leaving just after her 18th birthday. This decision was a testament to her newfound confidence and her desire to step outside of her comfort zone.

As parents, we want our children to be happy and successful, but sometimes, the path isn’t straightforward. My daughter’s experience showed me that even though a school may not be the perfect fit initially, it doesn’t mean that the journey is over. Sometimes, a difficult start leads to a stronger finish.

How to Make an Informed Decision

With all of this in mind, I am this time around very much led by how my daughter perceives the schools we are viewing. I am happy for her to make an informed judgement on which schools she wants to put on her list. Fortunately, we do seem to like the same schools, albeit for different reasons. I am not too bothered that the school has a pet dog, but if that makes her happy, I am happy too. For her, little things like the atmosphere of the school, the friendliness of the teachers, and the opportunities for personal growth are crucial factors.

This time, the decision feels less about just academic outcomes and more about ensuring that my child will feel comfortable and supported in her school environment. I have learned from my previous experiences that sometimes the intangibles—such as the vibe of the school and its fit with a child’s personality—are just as important as the academic offerings.

Tips for Parents: What to Look For in a School

My advice to those of you doing the secondary school visits for the first time is this: Visit as many schools as you can. It may feel overwhelming at first, and they all seem to morph into the same one after a while, but persevere, and you and your child will get a feel for what is right for them. It’s crucial to take your time and to look beyond just academic rankings. Consider the school’s ethos, the support systems in place, and the opportunities available for personal growth.

Don’t disregard a school because of other people’s opinions. After all, one size does not fit all, and we are all different in our strengths and aspirations. What works for one child may not work for another, and that’s okay. Schools have their strengths and weaknesses, but it’s essential to find one that aligns with your child’s unique needs and aspirations.

Trusting Your Instincts: Making the Right Decision for Your Child

But first and foremost, go with your gut. I wish I had done that with my daughter, but I have learned from experience. The most important factor in choosing the right school is not just what the school looks like on paper, but whether it feels right for your child. Trust your instincts as a parent, and don’t be afraid to make a decision that feels right for your family, even if it might not be the popular choice.

Happy school searching!