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Life as a Foster Mum

Back in 2020 I became a foster mum.

My husband and I had discussed fostering in the past but had never really taken the idea any further. Then one day in 2019 I was chatting to a friend that was fostering and she asked if I would like to have a chat with her agency and from there we agreed that we would like to take on a foster child.

The approval process, as you would suspect, is very strict and thorough. We were assigned an assessor whose job it was to delve into every area of our past from childhood to present day. In a way it was a kind of therapy remembering and talking about our past experiences both good and bad. This process went on for about six months. We also had background checks and references taken.

Eventually we were ready to go to the panel. This involved being interviewed by a group of professionals who assessed if we were suitable to be approved as foster carers.  Happily, we were!

Despite the vigorous training and interviewing that we undertook to be approved, nothing could have prepared us fully for our first placement. I remember vividly the social worker dropping off two little boys and then leaving. I remember putting myself into their shoes and thinking how scared and bewildered they must be feeling. I would never want a child of mine to feel like that.

Thankfully the boys soon settled with us and became part of our family. At times I admit that they drove me to the end of my tether but it felt very quickly like they had always been part of the family. They were happy to give and receive cuddles and equally happy to push boundaries and rules.

I feel that, for us, the key to successful fostering is to treat any foster child like your own. We encourage them as we would our own children and want the best for them. We show them the world that can be theres and equip them with the tools they will day need – so they may become resilient and achieve. That said, it is by no means smooth sailing. Children in the care system have seen and heard things that we sometimes cannot even imagine. My hope is that the children that we care for enjoy their time with us and can take into their future positive experiences, beliefs and affirmations.
We are still on our fostering journey and learning as we go! I am always happy to chat to anyone that thinks fostering could be for them. I will tell you the good, the bad and the ugly!

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